We all want the best for our loved ones, so when they share what they are up to, or a big decision they are contemplating, we are likely to chime in. But when does our advice, the story we share about others, or our personal opinion of them cross the line of accepting them as they are—or judging them for who they are?
What Is The Difference Between Acceptance And Judgement?
In a nutshell, you are judging someone when you attempt to get them to change or conform. Accepting someone is appreciating them as they are, and celebrating them for following their internal guidance system.
It’s Not About You
During his motivational events, Kyle Cease almost always shares some version of “the advice you give others is the advice you give yourself.” Keep this in mind the next time you hear yourself giving advice or thinking about what you believe someone should do. And, as the saying goes, you really don’t know what you would do unless you are in the same situation. But even then, the choice is not up to you.
They May Not Want Your Advice
If someone wants your advice, they will ask you for it. So, when your friend, child, family member, or colleague shares details of their life with you—it’s not up to you to chime in. This includes gossiping about them after the fact.
Even if someone in your life is making unhealthy decisions, judging them will not improve the situation. In fact, judging them can push them away, or worsen the situation. Instead aim to meet your loved ones with acceptance, kindness, and love.