Sometimes the disease to please, or to make people like us, leaves us agreeing to and with things that don’t really work with our schedule, goals, or comfort level. While there will of course be times when we need to make ourselves available to the unexpected, we must also set boundaries. If you don’t have enough boundaries, keep reading.
Some Boundaries Need To Be Crystal Clear
Sometimes, and with some people in particular, we need to set crystal clear boundaries. This doesn’t mean you have to explain yourself, but to keep things clear and specific such as, “Thank you for the invitation to your weekly XYZ but Wed evenings simply don’t fit into my schedule.” You don’t have to go into detail as to why.
In Most Cases It’s Not As Hard As You Think
While it might be difficult for you to decline, disengage, or maintain your privacy—once you get the hang of it—most people will respond quite well. While you’re working on developing your boundaries skills, get into the habit of saying I’ll think about it, I’ll get back to you, or I’d prefer not to.
Last but not least, keep in mind that we all have different boundaries. No one’s boundaries are right or wrong in general, they just need to be right or wrong for the individual. If you don’t have enough boundaries, there is no time like the present!