Whether conscious or subconscious most of us are all looking for a partner and friends who fit certain criteria, and we sort out our kids’ friends by a list of attributes that we are personally and societally aligned with. We are looking for a baseline of requirements that a person needs to meet so that we can consider them worthy. But perfect on paper is wildly overrated.
It Might Be A Sign Of Conformity
We all can be sorted into many boxes but sometimes following the status quo is a sign of insecurity or inauthenticity. When a person’s life becomes more about doing what is expected of them than what is authentic, you may never know who they really are—or who you really are. That being said, a totally authentic person may check off all the boxes you are looking for. We just get in trouble when we focus more on the boxes than we do getting to know someone as an individual.
We Are More Complex Than Our Boxes—Which Is A Good Thing
Being perfect on paper says nothing about a person’s individuality. The problem is, you may think it does. The area of town they grew up in, the university they went to, their profession, marital status, the car they drive, and more. These are things we consciously and subconsciously use to create narratives about others. These narratives can be so strong that sometimes even in the face of opposition we refuse to see or accept.
Last but not least, many of us are taught that we must surround ourselves with people who are ‘like’ us—but the truth is we really aren’t all that different.