Sometimes when a person feels low on energy, which for some is a constant state of being, they divert to energy manipulation to achieve the attention they desire. As the person on the receiving end of control drama you may feel physical, mentally and emotionally drained. Here’s how to break free.
First You Must Identify The Control
Control drama is a type of manipulation that is not always easy to identify. Particularly when the control is socially acceptable. For example, when family members say, ‘But she’s your sister so you can’t say no’ or ‘But I’m your mom and you have to do this for me’. These circumstances are particularly tricky because these are engrained mindsets many of us conform to without second thought. However, your manipulator can be your coworker, employer, spouse or even your very best friend.
Setting Clear Boundaries
It doesn’t matter who it is we must have clear boundaries in regard to how we will be treated, the type of communication we allow, and how we invest our time and energy. Yes, there are times when a loved one is down and out and needs more of our attention than usual. And you may spread yourself a bit thin at work during your busy season or in the midst of organizational change. These one-offs are not the primary focus, but instead, the patterns of behavior that leave us feeling drained, compromised or downright taken advantage of.
Setting boundaries can take an adjustment period for you and your manipulator but often solve the problem. If boundaries don’t work it may be time for major change, such as limiting contact or finding a job where you are valued and respected.