Relationship cycling refers to the on-again, off-again relationships that we sometimes get stuck in. This doesn’t refer to someone you have broken up with once, or maybe twice. But if you are on the third time or more it’s time to get real.
Something Needs to Change
For it to work the next time around there is clearly something that needs to change. However, you shouldn’t have to change who you are for someone else. Why not find someone who loves you just as you are? Or who you love just as they are? If one or both of you are caught in a destructive cycle or just can’t let go it’s time for couples counseling. However, the goal is not to make it work but to determine if you are truly compatible.
The Comfort Trap
Fear of the unknown and comfort in the expected are often what keep us stuck relationship cycling. One or both of you may also have a fear of never finding someone better, not deserving better, of being alone, or of abandonment. These are things you need to work on as an individual, not as a couple. And your love life will be more fulfilling if it’s based on mutual love and respect, not fear and faded love.
Perfect On Paper
We’ve all been there. We meet or date a girl or a guy that everyone is crazy about. Who all of our friends are dying to date. Who our family adores. Who we adore too, but who we aren’t in love with. Never get stuck feeling that you should love someone as the heart wants what the hearts wants and you both deserve better.
As a general rule, there is a reason why you broke up in the first place. If the reason is still there it’s time to move on.