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Can You And Your Partner Have Different Values?

Can Your Partner Have Different Values?

You are never going to be 100 percent in agreement or alignment with anyone but when it comes to your partner there are some values that are a must.

Where You Can Disagree With Boundaries And Respect

You can have different values and beliefs, such as politics or religion, but you must accept your partner’s beliefs. Where many couples go wrong is in expecting that they will change their partner’s mind at some point down the road. This leads to constant conflict related to your different values. For your relationship to be happy and healthy for both of you, you must set clear boundaries and genuinely respect one another’s values. If it is a value you cannot respect it’s not a good fit for either of you.

The Essential Values

While there is much we can accept, respect, or agree to disagree on there are some essential values that you must be aligned with. Some of these include:

  • Whether or not to have children
  • How to manage money
  • How to communicate
  • Supporting one another’s life and career goals
  • Whose career takes priority
  • What it means to be honest
  • How to prioritize time
  • What love looks like
  • The role family plays in your life and relationship
  • How to manage household responsibilities

Where we get caught up is that we don’t always talk about boundaries or essential values soon enough, or ever at all. This is one of the areas in which structured couple’s counseling can help.

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