This is one of those questions that is easy to say, “no of course not” when asked—but not all complaining is obvious. Here are a few ways to determine if you complain too much.
Do You Focus On The Cause Or The Solution?
I have a friend who is happy and bubbly but is also a major complainer. When something goes not as planned she will spend months on who to blame. For example, she got the flu over the New Year and spent the next two months talking about who she thought gave it to her. Someone who never even had the flu, but their girlfriend had the flu, and they had lunch a few days earlier so that must have been where she got it from. While the solution to this one is simply rest and time, it’s a waste of time to spend the next two months complaining about it.
How Much Time Do You Spend Sharing What’s Gone Wrong?
Without a doubt, we need to release frustrations, negative feelings, and negative thoughts. Keeping them in can do more damage than releasing them. But, talking about them (aka. complaining) non-stop is not the same as releasing them. Share with those who help you think through how to move forward, but we must not lose sight that there is always more to be grateful for than not.
Sometimes we get stuck in short-term ruts where we complain a lot, and when things ease up—so does the complaining. Either way we must always be mindful of the energy we release into the universe.