As you stretch and grow you must consider the way you respond emotionally to others. This includes your level of empathy, compassion, communication, and ability to connect. Whether or not your role in your relationships is healthy. Here are a few factors to gauge your emotional intelligence.
How You Treat Those Not Close To You
The barista, the cashier at the grocery store, the waiter or waitress, the customer service agent you’ve been waiting on hold 45 minutes to talk to. How do you treat people you have everyday interactions with? Especially when plans or services don’t go as planned? While you don’t need to be BFFs with everyone you come in contact with daily, whether you are kind or lash out in times that are tense—is also how you treat those close to you too.
How You Speak About Those You Love, Or Used To Love
Have you ever had a friend tell you about their new partner and they have nothing good to say? It may not be that there is nothing good to say but that your friend s focused on the negative. Or a friend who constantly complains about their other friends, not just in the midst of a challenge—but all the time? If this is something they do regarding others, they do it in regard to you too. This behavior is easy to point out in others, but how do you speak about those you love, and those you are no longer in a relationship? Do you speak with compassion or judgement? This isn’t about fact or fiction, right or wrong—but about your emotional response.
How You Listen
Do you really listen to those you love when they are talking? Or to your colleagues? Or do you half-listen and decide you know what they are going to say next? Do you listen while multitasking? Your ability to listen is directly related to your ability to respect and connect. To improve, listen with the intent to learn something new and listen from the perspective of someone else—not your own.
Here’s to raising your EI and improving your relationships.