Many of us have come to the understanding that forgiveness is something we do first and foremost for ourselves, to let go of our toxic emotions. When you are struggling to forgive, either to reconcile or relinquish, don’t forget the missing link of grief and forgiveness.
In Order To Forgive Something Must First Die
Without grieving the loss of what was, what we had hoped, dreamed or planned for—we may never get to the point of full forgiveness. Just like we grief any other loss, we must come to terms with life no longer being as it once was, or what we were working towards.
Write It Out
One of the most effective ways of sifting through our feelings is to write it out. Type or write your feelings somewhere safe that no one else can access. The letter you write is for you and no one else. It should be uncensored, unedited, and what is true for you. The thing with writing how we feel is that both in the writing and the rereading we uncover things we didn’t realize where there. This helps us identify what we are grieving and what we need to forgive. Also, where we could have done better or could be viewing things from a different perspective.
Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t able to get to forgiveness quickly as the stages of grief take time.