In his book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts Gary Chapman urges us to identify the “language” our partner most responds to. The challenge is that many couples do not respond to the same languages.
What Are The Love Languages?
In this case, we are not speaking about a spoken language, but instead a way of communication that your partner most responds to. This includes:
- Quality time
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
It’s Not About Show Or Keeping Score
If your partner responds greatly to gifts, this isn’t to say that they need extravagance. It’s more that they need to know you are thinking of them when you aren’t with them. Your gift could be as simple as flowers, a card, cupcake, or little trinket while away on your business trip. Whatever their language your intention must be sincere.
Speaking A Language That Doesn’t Come Naturally To You
The book urges couples to understand that your partner is not you. So, you may find your need for quality time together enough, but your partner may require more non-sexual physical touch—like hugs, snuggling, holding hands, or a quick peck when you leave or come home for the day. Since your communication styles are different, you can’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Let them know what it is that speaks most to you.
Learn your partner’s language and you can take your relationship to new levels of connection.