We all have skeletons in our closet but that’s part of what makes us human. Trying to hide our skeletons can eat away at us causing us to live in a constant state of fear and stress that people will find out. It can become so consuming that your primary goal may be to keep your secrets. Here’s why you need to let it all out.
To Take Your Power Back
When you finally let the skeletons out in the open they no longer have control over you. While it may be all-consuming to you, 9 times out of 10—it’s not that big of a deal to everyone else. Those whose opinion of you changes weren’t your real friends anyway. However, you must be reasonable and fair. Give people time to process what you have shared and address any lies or misleading information you have provided. Some close to you may be more bothered by the lies that you’ve told than they are by the truth, and that is different from judgment.
What If It’s Not Your Story To Tell?
As much as you may be willing and open to sharing your truth, the truth may affect more people than just you. For example, a family secret—such as speaking out about a parent’s alcoholism and that your childhood was not as picture perfect as everyone believed it to be. Ultimately, it is your story to share. Feel free to give the appropriate people a heads up, but don’t feel obligated to keep their secrets for them. That being said, exercise compassion. If it’s something you know about but did not experience firsthand it may not be your story to share.
When you share your story it doesn’t need to be common knowledge. You may choose to share with your spouse, best friend, or family member. If for whatever reason you decide to keep the past in the past, at least let it go. Don’t allow it to consume you any longer.